The book resonated with my actions from last year when I left the CEO positions, which were putting me too deep into some group dynamics.

Being an entrepreneur is often associated with freedom. Nothing further from the truth. It's pure slavery.

I've spent the last few years working all the time, not being understood by the close ones, and taking a lot of responsibility for risky, unpopular decisions. I even slept, worked out, and ate healthy just to have more energy to reach my goals.

Right now, I have developed a healthy emotional distance to my projects, which gives me a fresh perspective on things. One of the lenses through which we can perceive reality is the lens of the inevitable death.

Here is some food for thought to do so, based on Becker's 1973 book:

1. The terror of death is so powerful in all of us that it needs to be pushed into the subconscious. It is the deepest source of our anxiety and mental disorders. We develop those in early childhood when we encounter our full dependence on parents, then meet our creatureliness as hairy, defecating beings, just to understand the perspective of death consciously when we grow up.
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2. Our most profound need is to be free of the anxiety of annihilation, but living fully awakens it, so we shrink from living in a safer cocoon - being yourself is too venturesome, so it's easier to become an imitation of others.

3. That's why most of the people choose a life of “systematic self-restriction." The problem is that it becomes like a habit. The less you do, the less you can do, so the more helpless and dependent you become.

4. That's also why we are looking for some authorities with simple answers for us. This way, we can put the responsibilities for our lives into other person's hands. It also makes groups so stupid; when the leader initiates some act, the group can repeat it without guilt - only the leader is responsible.

5. If we consciously step into the role of the leader, we become a part of this dynamic, so we lose our freedom (this is the reason why I have stepped down from CEO roles that I have mentioned earlier, as freedom is my most important life value).

6. The alternative is to separate out of the herd. This is the Pyrrhic victory because the more you develop as a distinctive, free, and critical human being, the more guilt you have. Your very work accuses you; it makes you feel inferior. What right do you have to play God and escape these comfortable illusions and simple answers?

"Denial of Death" has reminded me of the archetypes of emperor-philosopher, the ascetic-king, and the monk-warrior, which have been inspiring me since childhood.

To build power, resources, and skills by your own hands, and to keep an emotional distance to it. This is a beautiful burden to carry!

Do you think it is a good place to share thoughts like this? Or do you prefer to stick to the everyday chatter?

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